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A traveling salesman is in West Virginia when he comes upon a house with a little boy sitting on the front steps.“Son, is your mother home?” The little boy nods yes.“Can I see her please?” The boy nods again, and they go around to the back of the house where they find the mother on the ground, humping away with a sheep.“Son, do you see what your mother is doing?” The boy nods yes.“Do you know what that is?” The boy nods.“Doesn’t that bother you?”“Naaaaaaaaaaaah!”How can you tell if a West Virginia girl is a virgin?If she can run faster that her brothers.Everybody from the North thinks everybody from the South is just sitting around, barefoot, wearing overalls, eating grits, watching ‘Hee Haw,’ listening to country music, drinking Jack Daniel’s, going to tractor pulls, wearing trucker caps, dipping Skoal, picking cotton, riding around in pickup trucks, having sex with our relatives, and looking for UFOs. And that’s not true -- it’s not -- I’ve never seen a UFO, and second cousins don’t. At least, not immediately. I'd have to find a sail boat, inspect or perhaps replace the lines and sails, learn to sail (there was a nice harbor available. It should be safe if I didn't do anything stupid) and get out there. Then again, I really didn't want to catch anything big. If I couldn't eat it in one day, why try to catch the fool thing?There was a lot of written material around town praising the local fishing, but most of it emphasized fishing charters. Follow the money, I guess. Somebody had to pay for all those pamphlets to be printed. They wouldn't have paid to have things printed that didn't make them money in return.I sat musing over a glass of whiskey and water in an old bar down by the waterfront. I liked that bar. It had class. It wasn't dressed up for the tourists. There was a picture of The Naked Goya, one of the most classic nudes in art, above the wall behind the bar. It must have been nine feet long. I resolved to hang a generator off the ice machine in there so I.
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